So what are your thoughts on this subject? From my experience and through my interactions I find that most men are some where around this neighborhood..... They still have a pretty substantial drive and find that their performance is different and in some ways better. Stamina has replaced repetition and an actual desire to please their woman is much more common. The predatory "tail chasing" of youth has faded. While the stereotype of MLC men is that they are going to "trade in" to a newer model I find this to be a gross misstatement. I believe that most MLC aged men are happy with a giving. loving woman of their own age. Where I see the stereotype coming from are the consequences of break-ups/divorces.
While men, I believe, are happy with partners their own age, when faced with finding a new partner the dynamic changes. When we are young women are truly in charge of the dating/mating scene. Men chase tail as if our life depended on it and are much more easily manipulated. As we age, we gain a few things that shift the game. First, we are more confident in who we are and care less about what others think of us. Next, we are more successful and bring a larger portion of "things" to the table. Finally, younger women seem to be attracted to older men with these assets (too a certain degree anyway). Couple these with the fact that single women the age of MLC men almost all come with serious baggage (bad relationship history, kids and exes, a naturally lower level of physical attractiveness etc) and men will naturally opt for the younger, prettier and less encumbered mate given a choice between two of equal compatibility. Not all, but a good amount.
Is this wrong? Are men specifically looking to break-up/divorce in order to "trade in/up"? I say no. But think of it in these terms: You have a car that you love. Over the years it has served you well and you have nothing but good will and happy memories in that car. Suddenly the car becomes unreliable. It leaves you stranded by the side of the road. This may be because of lack of maintenance on your part or on because of poor workmanship on the part of the manufacturer, who is to say? Whoever, when faced with replacing the car are you going to pay the same amount of money for a brand new car with no maintenance costs in the near future or a car the same age and condition as the one that just left you stranded? Hmmmmmmmm.....
What say you all?
I think this goes both ways for men and women nowadays. The traditional MLC frustration of wanting a simpler, less encumbered mate applies to both sexes. Is that a motivation for divorce, or trading up? Not necessarily.
ReplyDeleteIt would be ideal that the person is of the same age, therefore breaking the cliche of the MLC, but you make valid points as to why men (or women) choose to go younger with another partner (if they actually do). I agree, that most people do not want to break up their primary relationship (marriage) but long for more attention or at least *some* attention. Neglect can make you do things you never thought possible. And, it may not have anything to do with how much you love your spouse. It may simply be a need for acceptance, love, adoration, something....not that I am admitting to anything personally, mind you....just offering my candid opinion.
I think the key with men here is that although we may not be as outwardly emotional as women, we may very well be more emotionally fragile. Especially given that so much of our self image and confidence is based on our role as vibrant, desirable and virile entities. I think that a lot of men may be hesitant to admit this, but we are "all twisted up in the game". If we have chosen and been chosen as another then it is very important for us to feel secure in that relationship. I believe that for most men that means a regular showing of physical attention, especially sex. For us it is the one thing that no one else should be getting from our significant others and embodies a desire on their part to please us and care for us. It is also one of the few times that we can be truly devoted to only that person in both a physical and emotional way.
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