Why am I (and those like me) to blame for EVERYTHING!!

  This one is going to be a little touchy, but those who know me know that I don't fear saying the unpopular truth as I see it.  First, a little background of my young life in order to give some perspective to my question.  I was born in Indianapolis to an auto body repairman and a part-time homemaker/part-time clerical worker.  Until I was four we lived in a working class neighborhood near 46th between Shadeland and Arlington Avenues.  From there we moved into a house near Ft Harrison in Lawrence.  Things were looking up.  Better neighborhood and schools and a bigger house with a yard.  That lasted 3 years.
  When I was 8 my parents divorced.  Fairly shortly thereafter my mother got remarried to what turned out to be an absolute prick.  As a result, we moved first to Connecticut for 2 years and then on to Atlanta in pursuit of his half-assed career as a warehouse manager.  In CT we lived in a cesspool known as Waterbury.  Sorry if I offend, but parts of AFG are nicer than that crime infested dumping ground for human waste.  We lived in an apartment complex surrounded by projects and shitty rental houses.  I knew it was awesome when on the first day at the new school I asked a kid for directions to class and he punched in the gut without a word.  The second week there a 3rd grader got stabbed in the stomach with a broken coat hanger on the playground.....nice :(  Next two years SSDD.  Horrible school, bad kids, seething poverty and an unfamiliar culture.
  The asshole got transferred and we were off to Atlanta.  It held some promise for me.  Better weather and romanticized visions of the South.  In the ATL we were kind of in a reversed situation.  Instead of being one of the better off kids in a really horrible situation I became the poor kid in a better situation.  We moved into decent apartments on the edge of a nice neighborhood and went to good schools.  Again, I was dumped into a new culture.  Now I was a "Yankee".  A big deal to some.  One top of that I was obviously not as well off as most of the kids (as a pre-teen through 14 it was clothes, video games, etc).  I did make some good friends though, including Jack, Mark, Robb and some others in Scouts. 
  School and community wise things were definitely better.  At home things got steadily worse.  The asshole became increasingly mean towards all of us.  He was(is?) a twisted piece of shit and my mother finally got sick of him and put him out.  Again things were looking up a little.  At least we had peace at home.  My mom was a rock.  Although I didn't agree with her decision to divorce my dad, I never had any doubt that she loved me with all her heart or that in her own way she was trying to do her best for me.  She would always sacrifice in order to provide for us.
  A couple of months after the asshole left Mom went to the doctor as she was having trouble sleeping.  She described it as severe heartburn whenever she laid down.  The doctor decided it was a hiatal hernia and scheduled her for surgery.  Upon opening her up the doc discovered his folly :(  The pain she was having wasn't from a hernia...she was littered with cancer.  Non-Hodgkin's lymphoma to be more precise.  That was September.  My Grandmother (a nurse) flew down to be with us and help out.  The prognosis was not good so Mom and my Grandparents made the decision her to move to Michigan so that she would have our family's support(both of my Mom's brother are also there) and Grandma could care for Mom while she got treatment.  I was going to live with my dad.  The call was made and, I shit you not, his wife at the time convinced him that my Mom was not really sick and that for some reason she was trying to pawn me off on them.  That woman was a festering CUNT(yep I said it and don't regret it).  So off to Detroit I went to live with my Uncle just after Christmas.  Not the easiest man in the world but he took care of me and did what he could.  My Mom fought til the end and passed in the Spring.  At that point my Dad and the Cunt could no longer deny what was going on.
  So....off I went back to INDPLS.  My Dad lives in a tiny house, in a shitty neighborhood, with horrible schools....YEAH!!  Add to that a mean and uncaring Stepmother and it was not exactly a nurturing environment.  I decided to play football at my new school (big ups to my teammates) and it was the best thing I could have done.  This was my Junior year.  On varsity that year there was myself and a well-meaning redneck named Chris as the only white guys.  It was a new situation for me but I will always be thankful that my teammates treated me as one of their own.  They didn't know me from Adam but it didn't matter.  My two years at there were as good as they could have been.  I continued to do well in school and made a lot of friends (as a side note my 25th reunion is this Summer and it kills me to be in AFG instead of there...miss them all).  Senior year I did well enough on my SATs to secure an academic scholarship to Ball State.....

A ramble I know, but, I wanted you to realize that I have never been rich, well off, entitled, spoiled, privileged, a member of the "in crowd", had a silver spoon or had anything given to me.  Everything that I have or have done was through my own effort and the grace of God.  I have a BS, a JD, a nice home and a wonderful family.  My point follows......

Considering the above, imagine how hard it is for me to continue to swallow comments from individuals to me directly and reports from the media which describe my demographic in exactly those terms.  Then imagine that on top of that they use those descriptions as the basis for blaming "us" for every ill from bullying to sexual harassment to geo-political issues spanning the globe.  \
 
As I have made my own way in life, I expect others to do the same.  I have never been given the so-called advantages that most attach to my demographic description and have STILL succeeded.  Advantages, or lack there of, are not the reasons for success or failure, only parts of the equation.  The problem is that my demographic continues to be blamed for the lack of success, in the many ways it can be measured, in the many and varied other demographics.  Here are a few of the questions/accusations that are directed at us:

Why aren't there more women in political office?
Why aren't there more minorities in office?
Why do white men have higher success rates in school/business?
With each of those being tinged with the accusation of some inherent unfairness or discrimination caused by folks like me.

I have been witness to discrimination many times and would never say that it doesn't exist.  However, lets not be some simple minded as to think that it only some thing that white men engage in.  Here are a couple of examples from my own life: 1)  I once asked a young lady from school if she would go out with me.  Her reply was that she never could.  I asked why and she replied that if she went out with a white guy her father would kill us both and had told her so.  2)  While a senior I received a phone call at home one night congratulating me on my SAT success and offering me a scholarship for the next school year.  The caller went on to explain how he was from a "prestigious black fraternity".  I asked him if he knew that I was white and he hung up.  3)  Finally, as an adult I lived in NC for a time near Fayette-nam er ah I mean -ville.  On numerous occasions I walked into shops and stores, as the only white guy there, and would have the clerks literally turn and walk away instead of helping me.
  While I don't know what all the exact motivations in these instances were, I do know that they were directed at me or affected me based on someones perception of what it means to be a white man. 
  In all other circumstances these actions would be unacceptable and brought to life as horrible events.  But folks like me are fair game.  Anyone and everyone is allowed to take shots at us without fear of reprisal or uproar.  We still hear about Rodney King, but what about Ronald Denny(sp)?  I guess in the end what I am trying to get across is that we should all be responsible for our own destiny and success.  As our country changes demographically this becomes especially important.  At what point does the blame game stop?  At what point is there enough of a perceived power shift?  At what point do folks like me get to stop being assigned an identity based on some "Leave it to Beaver" fantasy of what it means to be a white man?   Don't take this as being anti-anyone or group....I just want to be treated and dealt with based on my actions and words.