Why All Those Cosmo-ish Cover Stories about "How to Please Your Man...etc" are bullshit!!!

  This is one that I have brought up with my female friends and my wife on a regular basis and it still ASTOUNDS me that women keep on listening to/reading this crap.  Ladies, I will spell it out for you in a minute, but let's start by stating the basic fact:  Men are simple creatures who are motivated by fairly basic needs and wants.  I said it and it is true ;)
  So here is the spelling part.  All you need to know about keeping your man happy, and in turn making your life much more pleasant, are The Three Fs!!  First, Food.  I list Food first as it is the least important.  For some men having a nice meal prepared for them is an important thing.  It shows attention and effort on your part, especially if it is a specific favorite of his.  I say this is the least important F because today there are far more men who can and do cook for themselves.  Take myself, while it is really nice when my wife cooks for us, I love to cook and believe I am fairly good at it.  Add in a little control issue/"my way is the best" and most of the time I would just as soon cook for us.  So while Food is a consideration, it is the little brother in this family.
  Second in the triumvirate is being Friendly/nice.  While it sounds overly simple it is not, I assure you.  With long term relationships comes complacency and a general lack of thought towards the other parties feelings.  In relationships men's feelings are often overlooked or not considered to be in need of as much attention.  As I have said previously, although we are not as outwardly emotional we are more internally sensitive than most women realize.  Thoughtful words and touches mean a lot to us.  Speaking in civil tones and including references to your love/desire for us add the reassurance we crave.  As we move on to the final F keep in mind that being Friendly and the next F go hand in hand and I would say compose a special "equation" of sorts.
  The final F.....that's right...I hope you saw it coming.....just F@#k him!!!!  Sorry to be so rude about it, but really?  Should I even have to say this one aloud?  For all of the psycho-babble crap and the exultation of new and improved positions and tricks it comes down to the simplest terms.  Men generally love and crave sex.  It is in our DNA for us to try and procreate as much as possible.  If you are questioning whether you are having sex enough the answer is probably "no" from his perspective.  At this point, as a woman, you should be excited to now have the key!! (smirk)  The fact that we are influenced so heavily by this F should be painfully apparent to you as females.  We chase you because of it, we buy you things because of it, we enter into relationships with you because of it (at least partly) and we continue you be with you (again at least partly) because of it.  When coupled with the previous F, being Friendly, you get the Magic Equation.  It goes something like this:  
                                    A+B=C  where A is the degree of Friendliness, B is the amount of F(sex) and the result,C, is the outcome of your man staying happily in a relationship with you.

This may seem simple but remember one thing. While C is known, A and B are variables.  In this context that means that you have the ability to manipulate both of them in order to maintain your C.  I will postulate this:  The more you F@#k a man the less he cares about how Friendly you are to him (let alone poor little Food) and to a lesser degree the reverse is true.  Being really  Friendly will get you good will, but in the end what you have thought all along is ultimately true.  We men are truly ruled by our libidos.  

So.....quit buying those magazines.....quit looking for other "touchy feely" explanations and realize that the solution to your question/problem is probably in your own hands(insert favorite body part as you wish)   :>)

TUM